When I was growing up, in any traumatic or stressful situation my family and I would use food to calm and comfort ourselves. From a young age, I remember us going to restaurants and eating ice cream sundaes and French fries.
Over time, sugar became my reliable friend—a comforter that was always there for me, never arguing, talking back, or making me upset. It became a lifelong companion. I turned to sugar and processed foods to cope with emotions, including happiness.
If I was anxious, I would go to a drive-through and order milkshakes and ice cream. If I won an award, I would celebrate by eating a pizza or an ice cream. Food became a place of refuge for me. I felt safe and calm when eating.
I would often overeat, knowing it wasn't good for me. I'd feel sick to my stomach, yet still crave more.
I realized it was beyond my control. I couldn't just have one piece of food like others could. I wanted to be a normal eater, like those who could leave half a piece of cake on their plate, but I didn't have the self-control for that.
There were days when I would eat all day. When I was alone, I would go to different places and indulge in as much food as I could.
A typical day would consist of me having a large caramel frappuccino from Starbucks with a pastry and a breakfast sandwich. A few hours later, I would have fast food for lunch, followed by more ice cream, chips, and candy at home or from convenience stores. I would end the day with a big dinner and lots of desserts.
It was an all-day eating event, especially during the peak of my addiction, before I realized I had lost control. My go-to comfort foods were milkshakes and ice cream, followed by Cheetos as my second favorite crunchy snack.
Thoughts like "I need to eat more" constantly battled with others like "I shouldn't do this" and "it's not good." So it became a real problem in my life.
Eating sugar and processed foods became a lifelong burden for me. It burdened my friends too because I would isolate myself from them.
I believe that the opposite of addiction is connection. I was in such a sugar and food addiction, that I isolated myself because I didn't want anyone to know about my addiction.
My friends could have probably looked at me and seen that I ate a lot because I was very large, but in my mind, I thought, "I have to get control of this" and "I need help before I can tell anybody."
To my friends and family, it wasn't about the weight. They didn't care what size I was. But I was pushing people away because I didn't want to embarrass anyone.
I have an amazing husband who loves me unconditionally, and I have five incredible kids who love me unconditionally, too. But I didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable because I was very large.
Being overweight was an issue for me, but even more than the weight, the mental chatter and food obsession were worse. Mentally, my brain was consumed with thoughts about losing weight and having a diet plan.
But I was also obsessed with getting my fix of ice cream or Cheetos followed by exercising and eating a few almonds because that was seen as healthy. Every free thought in my brain was filled with an obsession with food.
I knew that I was going to eat myself into an early grave. I had this great life, but in the area of food, it was awful, and I just could not get a grip.
I had a lot of anxiety and brain fog too, because the reality is, when you're eating that much, all you want to do is lay on the couch. You don't want to get up and be active, or do a project and go for a walk.
It was an ongoing cycle of me wanting to get out of it, but giving in to my cravings constantly.
In 2017, when I was 45 years old, I knew I finally needed to quit sugar and processed foods. I was at my most desperate place, I had to do something.
Years prior to this, I had heard of a term called "food boundaries," an addiction model which consists of eating three set meals a day without snacking, to teach yourself to have boundaries with food.
These meals do not include sugar or flour and are measured in portions. The goal was to replace sugar, flour, and processed foods with protein, vegetables, fruit, fat, and grain.
The day before I started this journey, I thought: "I don't know about cutting out sugar and flour, it sounds pretty hard, but what I'm doing isn't working, and what I'm doing is going to kill me. I love my life and I love my family. I don't want to prematurely do anything to harm me."
So I jumped in enthusiastically. I thought: "This is it. I feel like the Lord really sent my rescue boat, and I had to jump in and paddle." I started planning my meals, looking at ingredient lists, and writing down my food. I was very, very excited.
During the first week, I felt amazing because I knew that this was the answer, and I had never had an answer before. There was no going back.
But there was a moment within the first 30 days when I was sitting at a restaurant and there were rolls on the table. The roll was made up of the two things I couldn't have, sugar and flour, which led me to think: "Oh my gosh, I'm never going to have that again."
I shed a few tears, and then I realized that I'd had enough rolls, bread, candy, and sugar to last me multiple lifetimes. I'd eaten my share of all of that.
I understood that it's okay to grieve, cry, and let it out. I had to work through some of those emotions because they were hard.
I developed strategies to work through temptations. I'd take deep breaths, stop and pray, and walk away. I'd reach out to a friend, and then I'd be fine because the craving would go away.
Even now, I don't sit and stare at food. I just say: "No, that's not my food. I'm not going to eat that."
It feels really good.
There are challenging moments, even five years later, when I think: "Oh, maybe I could be a normal eater." But I'm not. And I've owned that. This is how I eat. And it keeps me free and feeling good, and my body feels amazing.
I planned my meals the night before, which gave me the mental space I needed to think about other things. I had the freedom to think about creative ideas because I wasn't constantly preoccupied with how to get more food without others noticing, and how much I was eating.
Ten months into my journey, I lost 100 pounds without doing anything drastic, except following those food boundaries and working on my emotions and anxiety in between.
Now, I have three delicious, nourishing meals daily that keep me satisfied until the next meal. There's usually no hunger in between because my body is fueled with good stuff, so my weight dropped rapidly because my body was finally utilizing everything I gave it.
For breakfast, I usually have protein, fruit, and grain. It could be oatmeal with bananas and yogurt, or rice cakes with peanut butter and bananas.
At lunch, I'd have vegetables, along with protein, fat, and fruit. It could be carrots and celery with hummus, a hard-boiled egg, and blueberries.
Dinner usually consists of some type of meat, like barbecue steak, chicken, or fish, along with a salad and a generous portion of vegetables with butter and dressing.
I drink a lot of water, unsweetened tea, and sparkling water, which I really enjoy. I still drink coffee, but without sugar, and just a little bit of cream.
I no longer wake up feeling guilty about overeating the night before, and I don't spend time researching diets or weight loss methods. My body feels better, and I'm free to just be myself without the weight of food holding me back.
It's a sense of liberation to finally be able to live my life without the constant preoccupation with food and my weight. I am free to be me, whatever that may be.
My skin is clear and I feel better both physically and mentally. I still experience anxiety because we live in a fast-paced world with many stressors. But I acknowledge it, work through it, and breathe through it.
I am able to feel it in my body and say to myself: "Okay, I'm feeling very anxious right now."
In the past, I used to suppress it and it would always resurface. But now, I confront it, and I move on from it. It doesn't get trapped and muddled up inside me anymore. I've learned to work through my anxious moments.
Cutting out sugar and processed junk food from my diet has had a significant positive impact on both my mental and physical health. It has allowed me to be more mindful of my body's needs, work through anxious moments, and appreciate the delicious and nourishing foods that are available to me.
I encourage others to consider the benefits of a healthy diet and the freedom it can bring to their lives.
In the five and a half years since I started this journey, I have never thought: "Maybe there's a better way?"
I know that this is the answer. It's freedom. It's clear-cut. My brain loves it. My body loves it. And so what if I don't eat a piece of cake? It's not a big deal. I just have to move past it and have strategies.
Kristy McCammon is the founder of Life Unbinged. She is a speaker, blogger, influencer, and coach in the area of weight loss.
All views expressed in this article are the author's own.
As told to Newsweek associated editor, Carine Harb.
Do you have a unique experience or personal story to share? Email the My Turn team at myturn@newsweek.com
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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